Friday, October 19, 2012

Capture Your Grief - Day 19: Project

Day 19: Project

 I made a facebook page called MOMMY'S HEART IN A BOX that covers a few different projects I've started as a result of my losses this year.  It started with memory boxes...

The include a journal, tissues, two tiny stuffed animals (one for the casket, one for mom to keep), a Scentsy travel tin, matching Teeny Tears diaper - gown - and blanket, matching burial outfit - hat - and blanket, matching bracelets for mom and baby and a scrapbook/photo book.

Then, it kind of expanded to include memorial graphics as I had been making some for others anyway and really enjoyed it.  PLEASE feel free to request a free graphic on the facebook page!!

And then it expanded further as people began requesting the tealight candle holders I had made for the Wave of Light on the 15th.

I try to keep as busy as I can to block out as many emotions as I can and to keep things positive.  Any time I start losing sight of my mission to help others as they grieve, sadness starts to overtake me.  Someone posted an article in one of my loss groups that said that mothers who lose their children at any age or stage of pregnancy are 300% more likely to die in the first two years after their loss.  Then it drops to something like 115% more likely than mothers who have not lost a child.  They said they didn't track the difference in types of deaths, so they didn't know if the increase was due to suicide or what-have-you.  However, I don't think it matters.  Once you've lost a child, you figure you have someone you long to see waiting for you in heaven, so if you should happen to get in a wreck or something, you're less likely to fight to stay alive than you would if you hadn't lost a child.  The article said that it didn't matter if these mothers had other living children or not.  Anyway, so I just keep myself busy so that I don't have time to entertain such thoughts.  I find others to serve, even if the "others" are my angel babies.  I have no time to dwell on grief and I prefer to keep it that way.  And hey, helping others is always great, right?!

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