Home Water Birth of a Rainbow

Well, it finally happened! I have a baby in my home and in my arms again!

My estimated due date (EDD) was 11/11, and for a while, I was really worried about my baby being born too early. But the 11th came and passed and I stayed pregnant. I went in for a prenatal on Tuesday, 11/19 at 8 days past EDD. My sweet midwife did a quick Non-Stress Test (NST) to make sure all was well inside, and then gave me some "rocket juice" (her own herbal tincture concoction along with some orange juice to mask the flavor). I left her office around 12:30 and then met up with some family for lunch. I picked up my oldest kiddo from school around 3pm and then went home.

The "rocket juice" was supposed to increase the cramping sensation because the goal was to help me with effacement moreso than dilation (I was 4cm and 50% at this point). I could definitely feel the increase in cramping and began to notice that it came in waves, like contractions. So I began taking note of the time between waves. 5 minutes. Hmmm...

After an hour or so, once my husband was home, I let my midwife and doula know that things seemed to be coming together and that I felt like it was the day to bake a birthday cake. No rush yet though. I began timing the duration of the contractions in addition to the time between contractions. As things started seeming more and more coordinated, my husband got nervous and said it might be time to start inviting over our birth team. While I got everyone informed and ate some dinner, he blew up the birthing tub.

First to arrive was my doula, Denise, around 8pm. My midwife, Rebecca, arrived around 8:30-9pm. It was a slow start so I didn't ask my photographer, Kendra, to come over until 10:45-11pm.

We began filling the tub around the time Kendra came over. I didn't want to allow myself too much comfort for fear of slowing things down, but I guess my face was tipping people off that I was needing a little relief and they insisted I get in. The warm water was wonderful! We noticed the time and realized that if things hurried up, I could have a baby on an all prime number date... 11-19-13! unfortunately, with 9 minutes to go, I realized that wasn't going to happen, but also noted that my kids do things in multiples of 3 (#1 was 3 days past EDD, #2 was 6 days past EDD, #3 was 3 days before EDD) and an 11/20 birthday would put her at 9 days past EDD. Yes, I'm a dork and like numbers that much.

Rebecca checking the baby's heart rate while in the tub.

 Anyway, as contractions started really picking up, I guess my face was showing it because they started trying to distract me. Eventually, I had to make a decision - don't push and keep feeling the intense pain in my lower abdomen and thighs, or push knowing it'll hurt more but then will be over. I pushed and felt the water break as her head was birthed into the tub of warm water. I reached down and felt her hair. Once Rebecca checked to make sure the cord was not around her neck, I pushed a second time and out she came. Rebecca pushed her forward while I sat back so that I could lift her out of the water.

November 20, 2013
12:56am

She was beautiful! The first thing I noticed was her adorably dimpled chin. Then her tiny ears. Her long finger and toe nails. Her button nose (just like Mitchell and Kiersten). Her full lips that she definitely got from her daddy and not me!  I held her, stared and studied her.  Ben sat behind me (not in the tub though) and stared and studied her.  We kept her mostly in the water to keep her warm, eventually wrapping a towel around her to keep the warm water on her.  It seemed like time almost paused so that Ben and I could take in the experience and focus on the fact that we finally had our little girl here where we could see her and cuddle her.  No one interrupted us, they just allowed us to "be."

Then OUCH! What the? "Ooooh, time for the placenta." How did I not remember birthing the placenta at ANY of my births? OUCH!  After waiting for the cord to stop pulsing, Ben cut the cord, and they took my baby girl just long enough for me to birth the placenta (1:20am, so it pulsed for a good 24 minutes where we stayed connected), and then they gave her back. I liked that. Once that was over, it was time to get out. I showered up and got into my bed and got back to snuggling my newest sweetheart.

While her weight (8.0 lbs) and length (21") and other measurements (head/chest 13.25-13.5") were taken and the newborn exam was completed, we talked about names. We had our name list narrowed down to 40 this time (which is good for us, there were 117 names on the list when Mitchell was born). Ainara was a birth team favorite, as it means illuminating, shining, which kind of fits her. Eve means life, which is significant after two losses. Despite meaning "beautiful lion," Arabella was taken off the list. It is also a fitting meaning as she's such a beautiful little girl, and also was a bit feisty while still in the womb. Names were tossed back and forth but we eventually narrowed it down to 5 - Ainara, Miranda, Jeslyn, Sasha, and Emmalyn.

Around 4am, Kiersten woke up. Ben let her meet her new sister, which was an adorable encounter. Finally, though, it was bedtime. Ben and I were both absolutely exhausted after being up for 23 hours or so.

Camera picture of Daddy with his two girls!

All that day, we tried the names on our new addition. I loved Ainara, but alas, it isn't HER name. We both loved Jeslyn, but it wasn't HER name. The boys, asked independently, both said Emmalyn. In fact, when Mitchell went to preschool, his teacher told him that his new baby sister looked like him, to which he replied that, "no, she looks like Emmalyn." The next day, we asked again and they still both said her name was Emmalyn. So there it was. That was HER name.

Before I miss writing it, I want to document it for next time around... after 3 days I was still having contractions in my lower abs and thighs. And it hurt. It hurt like early labor, but it hurt.  How ridiculous! How do I not remember this happening with the others?

Overall, this was such a perfect birth!  We hung out, carried on random conversations, kind of had a "girl night in" feeling to the whole night, and just happened to have a baby in there somewhere!  I loved being in the water.  I loved being the one to bring my baby up out of the water.  I loved letting birth just happen.  I loved sitting in the tub with Emmalyn while waiting for the placenta to detach.  I loved letting the cord pulse until it was done.  I love that her newborn exam wasn't until after I was showered and in my own bed and when I was ready to let someone else hold her while I watched what was going on.  I love that she was in my sight the whole time.  I love that I didn't have to labor in a car!  I loved just everything about this birth!  I absolutely ADORE my birth team!  These ladies were so wonderful to have around me as I labored, keeping my spirits high the whole time, empowering me as my body worked toward its goal.  If the time should arise again, I would choose these 3 to be there, hands down!  And Ben!!  He stays so calm, never freaks out.  Yes, this was my ideal birth.  I got a great birth experience and a great little girl, all in the same night!  Perfect ending to a perfect day!

Erythema Toxicum - no worries, she's not cold, just a normal newborn "rash" kind of thing.

One day old tiny princess!  Our rainbow baby!

Delivery Day - part 1

I know I'm going to have to break this into a couple posts.  There's definitely the good, the bad, and the ugly to be shared.  I thought about starting with the ugly so I could work backward and end on a good note.  But I guess I woke up feeling more generous than that.

I worked hard to get everything done before induction.  A lady in the ward works for an ob/gyn office and helped me set up an appointment to see a doctor who agreed to do the delivery the next day.  A friend who lost her baby a year ago said that someone made phone calls for her that were helpful, so she took on that task for me - calling mortuaries and cemeteries to help us find out costs for caskets, the burial, the plot, etc.  Her estimates helped out a lot, and she found out that there is only one nearby cemetery with an infant section.  I like the idea of my baby being with others of the same age.  Turns out, my baby is just a few plots away from a friend's baby.  I hate it, but it's comforting for me.  We picked out the smallest casket available.  We arranged childcare for induction day.  I packed bags with jammies and extra clothes for "just in case."  I got my hospital bag packed.  I got everything I could done before going to the hospital on Tuesday.  It made me feel like I could mentally be there and aware of what was going on.

We arrived at the hospital on Tuesday at noon.  We checked in at the front desk, then into our room.  It was a huge room.  Ben still needed to go pay for the cemetery plot so once I'd had my first dose of Cytotec, he went to do that (cash or check, no cards) and my friend, Denise, came to be with me.  She stayed until everything was calm and we were just waiting for hospital procedure for me to be released.  She was such a comfort to me.  And she was such an advocate for me.  She helped me so very much.  I'm so glad Denise cleared her schedule, even missed a Scout Court of Honor where one of her boys became a Star, just to help me and help Ben as we managed the hospital, our emotions, our grief, our fears, and so much more.  Thank you, Denise.

It wasn't until about 1:25pm that I had the first dose of Cytotec (which, by the way, is NOT approved by the FDA for the induction of labor... just FYI).  Not much happened for a while.  The second dose was at 5:20.  By 6pm, bleeding had started.  I figured it wouldn't be much longer, considering how things progressed with Taylor.  Something I hadn't accounted for was that, with Taylor I was walking around the house while this time, I was in a hospital bed with a monitor on which made me feel strapped down and like I had to ask permission just to use the bathroom.  That slows progression of any labor.  I felt contractions in my lower abdomen and my upper thighs just before the second dose.  They continued to increase after the second dose.  I got a third dose around 9:15.


Finally, around 10:30pm, I had decided that I just HAD to go to the bathroom.  I got up, got in there, sat down, and the tiniest push caused a bulge to appear.  I put my hand below it, just in case it tried to drop into the water.  Nurses and Denise helped me back to the bed.  Three nurses worked to have me push just a little bit at a time.  I still needed to use the bathroom, so I was afraid to push very hard.  My baby was still in the caul, still entirely inside the amniotic sac.  Once they broke away the sac, they put him on a basic hospital baby blanket/towel and gave him to me so very carefully, at 10:45pm.  I had someone, I think Ben, call the Heidi (our NILMDTS photographer).  All I could do is stare and memorize.


He had toenails.  Yes, HE!  Turns out the ultrasound tech was wrong, as it is very difficult to see gender on a 16 week baby via ultrasound.  We needed a new name.  Isabelle obviously would not be working out after all.  I let Ben take him for a while, and I looked up my name list.  I read them off, Ben said a few stuck out, so I read them one more time.  I already approved of all the names on the list, so when Ben chose Seth from my list, I was pleased.  We weren't sure if we'd give him a middle name.  Taylor didn't have one, which is why I hadn't chosen to give him one when we anticipated him being Isabelle.  But Seth just seemed to need another name.  It wouldn't come until Heidi was packing up to leave.  Someone suggested Michael, but Micah was on my list so we chose that instead.  I've always loved the name Micah!


Heidi was there from about 11:30pm-12:20am.  I am so grateful there are people like her, willing to come out at a moments notice in the middle of the night to photograph such sad pictures for a family to have to remember their lost child.  Seth stayed near Ben while Heidi did most of the pictures, and nurses were still working on me, trying to coax the placenta out.  They were kind to keep a sheet pulled to keep me modest, understanding how important the pictures were/are to me, yet also knowing they had work to do.  When the nurses weren't working on me, we were able to get a few shots of me with Seth, and then Seth with both me and Ben.

I memorized my boy as long as I could.  I hadn't eaten solid food all day and had very little juice, so I didn't have much energy and it was such a long day.  I was so tired.  I laid Seth in his blanket on my chest and wept.  Usually, I lay my babies on my arm and curl up in bed with them, cuddling them all night long.  Seth was too little for my arm.  I held very still, cradled him, continued to weep, and thought of all the things I was going to miss with him.  I closed my eyes to recall memories of him, to see what other parts of him I needed to study and memorize.  His ears were tiny little flat buds, still low on his head, but very apparent.  His lips were slightly puckered.  His nose was tiny and button-like, Denise said he would have had my nose.  His fingers weren't able to spread, but each finger was there.  His toes were tiny, all 10 accounted for, each would separate, and each finger and toe had either a nail or a nail-bed.  His eyes were open and dark.  His legs were perfect - tiny muscular thighs, solid bones in his knees and ankles, absolutely perfectly formed.  You could feel his ribs, and his shoulders were slightly askew.  He was fragile, very fragile, but he is mine and I love him.


I noticed that his skin was darkening, so being afraid they wouldn't be able to get footprints if I didn't hurry, I let the nurses taken him for a few minutes.  They brought him back to me and then I had to think of saying goodbye forever.  I cradled him on my chest a while longer, and kissed his little hatted head.  It felt so wrong to let someone take my baby.  He was supposed to stay with me for years and years until he left the house but still came to visit often.  It made me have an even deeper appreciation for those who have allowed their child to be adopted.  Allowing someone else to take your baby, perhaps never to see them again... for me, there was no option to keep him.  It hurt me so much to tell them it was time to let him leave my room for good.  But it had to happen.  He was already gone.

 

It's amazing how much you can love and miss someone who never took a breath.  But I do.  So very, very much.  I guess I really don't have to explain.  I am his mother.  He is my son.  Whether he is in my home or not, he is still in my heart and in my mind constantly.  I may smile, I may laugh, but that doesn't mean I'm not still thinking of how empty my arms are.  I've been talking to him, joyfully making plans for how our family dynamic will change, and dreaming of him since finding out I was pregnant.  He's been with me for nearly 20 weeks.  Now, instead of carrying him in my belly or in my arms, I will be carrying him always in my heart.   Seth Micah Harvey, I love you.

KIERSTEN LYLA HARVEY

On January 2nd, 2011, my sweet baby girl was born!

This may be "TMI" for some of you, but if you're a birth junkie like me, you'll appreciate it anyway. I promise it won't get too graphic or anything. Just words that you'd read in books like "What To Expect" so really not so bad.

Sunday morning, I woke up and was beginning to prepare for 11am church. Ahhh! I got to sleep! Last year it was at 9am and I usually don't wake up until 9am during the week. I know, I know. But MY body needs lots of sleep or else I'm cranky and you know how it goes. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So I gathered up the boys' clothes so Ben could get them ready for church, gathered up my own clothes so I could shower and get ready to go... used the bathroom... bloody show. My midwife mentioned that if I had any, she would definitely come out to the house, so I gave her a call.

My midwife, Reta, is 55 minutes away. When Mitchell was born, my entire labor from first contraction to delivery was only 1 hour 45 minutes. Because of this, Reta and I decided that we'd attempt a "gentle/natural" induction, since bloody show increases the chances of such a thing working. So, around noon I drank 3 oz of caster oil. I renew my objection to drinking it. If you're going to use it, rub it on your belly. I had sent Ben and the boys to church so I could tidy the house before the midwifery team arrived. They got home just after 2pm and the midwives arrived around 2:30pm. She had me drink another 3 oz of caster oil, and do a blue cohosh "shot" every 10 minutes for about an hour. Just after 4pm, contractions were going and I felt like the baby was about to fall out. However, there was no pain. I was talking through contractions, even smiling and laughing! By then, Keith's preschool teacher (who has become an amazing friend) had arrived to watch the boys AND do some birth photography for me. Her face looked like she was screaming "I wish my labors were this easy" inside! I was in the kitchen baking a cake, after all!!

I felt a little nauseated, coupled with that feeling that she was going to fall out soon, so we went upstairs to set up. Unfortunately, despite being dilated to 10 cm already, my uterus was not contracting productively. Over the next couple hours, I even lost dilation. We used Clary Sage and a hot shower to try to get things going, too. But I went back to around 7cm dilation. I became discouraged that we had done so much to induce and it wasn't working. I had prepared myself to have a baby that day, and even felt guilty that it seemed as though my midwifery team had come out to the house for nothing.

Around 6:30pm, since things hadn't picked up again, we did ONE more round of blue cohosh... another 3 dropper fulls. They had just suggested that I eat something too, since I hadn't had breakfast yet and it was now dinner time. I had about 3 bites of banana, and a few minutes later, I puked it all up. By 7pm, I had on my maternity swim top and was in the shower because I finally had contractions that required some type of pain management. I didn't like feeling that I was being watched, but I know they were trying to be as concealed about it as they could be. My friend, Denise (who is training to be a midwife), was there acting as my doula, too. I am so glad she was there! She was calm and comforting, and very sweet.

At any rate, Ben realized that if I was in the water, then we were close to having a baby. They convinced me to get out of the shower because it's a small shower and not ideal for delivering a baby. They moved all the shower curtains onto the bathroom floor. I began pushing at 7:36pm on my hands and knees, but being wet it was hard to stay stable. I laid on my left side with my foot on Reta's leg and Denise applying pressure to my lower back (Reta's assistant, Camille, I think was monitoring the situation, she was above my head so I'm not really sure). At 8:03pm, Ben caught his baby girl!! She was beautiful! 7 lbs 8 oz, 19" long, and a FULL head of jet black hair! Plus gorgeous dark blue eyes. I'm sure the hair and eyes will change, but so darn cute!

Afterward, I had a hard time keeping my temperature up, so they "roasted" me by piling about 8 heavy blankets on me, switching some out for fresh ones from the dryer every so often. Ben even snuggled with me trying to help me raise my temp. Of course, Kiersten was snuggled in my arms, too! I love laying in bed with my newborn!

Once the cord stopped pulsing, Ben cut the umbilical cord. As they observed the condition of the placenta (I agreed to donate it to be encapsulated for someone who wanted it, with the option to keep it for myself if I wanted to... placenta consumption helps combat postpartum depression and also aids in weight loss!!), they noticed that it wasn't as healthy as it could/should have been. They also noticed that my 20 week ultrasound failed to find that there was a VELAMENTOUS CORD INSERTION. With this condition, nutrition doesn't get to the baby as well, and it could apparently tear off at any moment. From what I understand, it could have broken inside the uterus during my pregnancy, or even more likely that it would break off during labor and delivery. Look it up online. It probably should have kicked me to "high risk" and I probably would have been monitored like crazy to make sure that the cord didn't lay on top of the cervix where it would have the highest chances of breaking off during delivery, therefore requiring a c-section instead of a natural delivery.

Apparently I wasn't bleeding heavily, but trickling an amount that wouldn't stop and that made Reta a little nervous. She gave me several different tinctures and lots of Floradix (an iron supplement) trying to get it to stop. Eventually, as I went to go to the bathroom to get showered, I puked it all up. The bleeding was enough that we called in another priesthood holder and was given a healing blessing. It was the most profound blessing I think I've ever received. It was short and simple: BE HEALED. After around an hour after the birth (not too long after the blessing), it had calmed enough that the midwives were comfortable cleaning up to go home.

Reta and Camille washed my sheets and towels, trashed the things that were too much for a little hydrogen peroxide and a cleaning, and were gone. Denise stayed and talked for a while. Ashley had brought the boys in to see their sister around the time the cord was cut and put them to bed afterward. She stuck around for a while but eventually had to get home to her own family. By the way, Keith was most fascinated with the new baby! Mitchell just wanted to jump on us and play, though the baby was kind of an interesting item for him to observe.

Finally, we all were in bed and asleep before midnight. It was an interesting day! Once contractions became productive, labor took about 90 minutes. Though if you start at the onset of induction, I suppose it was closer to 6-8 hours. We've now got THREE kids!! I'm so amazed as I look over each of them. They are the most beautiful people in the world, to me. I am so in love with each of them! In case you can't tell, I am thrilled to be a mommy!

Births of my Babies

KEITH:
My back started hurting a little around 7pm on Wednesday night (2/8/06). I was very tired, so I soon went to bed. However, I found myself unable to sleep because the pain kept getting worse. It felt like I needed to use the bathroom but I went so many times that there was nothing left in my bladder to empty. Around midnight, Ben finally asked if contractions came with the pain. This was the first I had considered such a thing. I tried to time contractions but it was difficult because the pain never really stopped, which made it hard to figure out when the contraction stopped. The pain just piled on, rather than being present for a time and then going away for a time. By 2am Thursday morning, we were finally at the hospital (University of Utah Hospital). They still had to do an exam and monitor me for an hour before they would admit me. I was at 2cm for 3-4 weeks already. Now I progressed from 4-8cm in a mere 20 minutes!They rushed to get the epidural! That was a lifesaver... the back labor had been so constant and intense that I had been in quiet tears for about half an hour, but had been overly uncomfortable for probably 4 hours already.

Once the epidural took effect, I felt GREAT! I laughed and joked with Beth Tyrell (our Bishop's wife), Penny Johnson (my good friend who lived in our apartment building), Ben, and the nurses. It wasn't long before they told me I was going to start pushing though. My doctor had to be in surgery at 7:30am and they wanted to allow me time to push. They broke my water and I began pushing. The doctor left to go check on some cancer patients but was nearly immediately called back as the baby's head was showing! She said for me to stop pushing until she could get there in 15 minutes. I couldn't believe it! STOP PUSHING?! This baby felt like he was climbing his way out anyway! Dr. Laine arrived in 10 minutes and I pushed just a few more times. Ben held a mirror so I could watch. It was unvelievably amazing! After just less than an hour since I had started pushing, Keith was born at 6:43am and was very hungry. He nursed for around 3 hours, excluding the time he spent getting checked out and bathed. Back labor was harsh, but I would do it again!

MITCHELL:
Wednesday the 18th - 12:30am and I woke up with these crazy gas-like pains in my back. I immediately started timing it, just to be sure. 13 minutes. 9 minutes. 7 minutes. 5 minutes. 3 minutes. 2 minutes. The contractions weren't steady and regular, but increasing quickly. At about 1:15am, I called Briana to come on over. Then I called my friend, Penny, to come over to help with Keith, if he should wake up, or me, if I should need it. Briana was there no later than 1:45am. She said I was doing well dealing with the pain... I rocked back and forth and told her how that epidural with Keith was amazingly wonderful. Then a contraction would end and I would wonder if I was just exaggerating or being overly dramatic. Then another would start, NOPE! Not exaggerating or being dramatic at all, that was real PAIN! I put on some water to boil and made some red raspberry leaf tea after taking some more blue cohosh. I hardly took two drinks of my tea before I finally agreed to let Briana check me to see how far I was progressing. The pain was bad enough that I wanted to know that it was actually doing something. She assured me it would only be a few more hours, to which I thought "HOURS!?!?!!" Anyway, so then she checked and said I was about 6cm. I had been at 2.5 cm since early January, then the last week I went up to 3cm and then 3.5 cm, but stayed there. With Keith, when I hit 4cm, I went pretty fast and was hoping for a repeat. So, once she determined that the contractions were actually doing something useful, I decided to go to the bathroom again. As I sat there, the tub looked appealing. I got in and had the hot water run over my lower back. Eventually, I had Ben and Briana both pouring it over my back as I was on my hands and knees in the tub begging for more and hotter water a little more quickly. Penny got there just as I was crowning and Briana cut off my water supply because a tiny face was showing and ready to take his first breath. The time was 2:16am. Not even two hours after I woke up with contractions. She passed the baby through to me, and he was amazingly slippery so I was a little nervous trying to hold onto him. They helped me flip over into the bathtub, and then brought me a pillow (it had on a nice little water-proofed cover). I held onto the new baby for a while, waiting for the placenta to let go. Briana gave me some Angelica (another herb) to help encourage it to release. It took a while, but finally it was out, too. Once it was, I was helped out of the tub and into my bed. The placenta and cord were still attached to the baby, who had not yet been named.

I laid in bed for a while, just snuggling up with my baby and my sweet husband. After a while, I decided to get up and go shower off, so I passed the baby to Ben. While I showered, Briana asked if it was okay to start on her newborn exam, or if I wanted her to wait for me to get out. I asked her to wait, so she did. I got cleaned up, dressed, and back into bed. By then, the tiny boy was on a towel wrapped heating pad where she examined him and then measured him. Ben held him up in a sling so Briana could get his weight. 8lbs on the dot... ironic since Keith was 7lbs even!

Around now, or maybe it was just before I showered, I honestly don't recall, Keith had awaken and Penny had been watching him in his room for a while. Ben finally went in to let them know he could come in. (He hadn't woken up until after the birth, so he needed to stay out of the way of the 4 of us trying to make our way through a tiny bathroom and hallway.) So, Keith came in, kissed the baby's head and said, "Love you Baby Brother!" as sweetly as he could. He wasn't told what to say or do, he just did it and it was amazingly wonderful! As the three of us looked on at the new member of our family, I knew it was a moment that could have never taken place in a hospital. It was sweet and tender and just perfect. Now, don't get me wrong, it hurt like you would never believe (unless you too have had a natural birth), but I'd do it at home again without thinking about it. I was never rushed to give up my baby. I was never hurried to do anything. I was immediately with my other sweet boy, and the whole family could cuddle together without nurses getting in the way. Plus, it was so nice to be at home, and have a care provider come to ME instead of having to sit in a car through those awful contractions. Since I managed my pain by rocking, sitting would not have allowed me to manage the pain. Plus, that hot water was amazing! Can't get that in a car, and not in all hospital rooms either. Also, the cord and placenta stayed attached until it was done pulsing, that way he could continue to sort out which nutrients he wanted/needed until he had everything necessary. Only then was the cord clamped and cut. This also cuts back on the incidence and severity of jaundice. Interesting, huh?! The pain sucked, but the overall experience was amazing!! I would totally encourage everyone to give a homebirth a try... it's so much more calm and peaceful and at YOUR pace rather than the hospital staff's. It was just perfect.