Yes, that's right. This is my SIXTH pregnancy. This is the SIXTH time I've had the privilege to announce that I am growing a tiny little human right now. (I'm so crafty, I make people.) I'll gladly accept any and all prayers that this baby grows happy and healthy and joins our family here on Earth where s/he will grow to a ripe old age, still happy and healthy. I'm nervous, but I don't have the same fears with this pregnancy as I did the last one.
I'm not "over" losing Taylor. I don't think I'll ever be "over" it. However, the opportunity to be pregnant again is amazing, glorious, and I am so very thankful for it! I want to shout it out to the world that I am pregnant again! I want to celebrate every minute of this pregnancy, much as I have felt with my other FIVE pregnancies.
Last time around, I could never envision the birth. I could see the NEXT birth (as in, this pregnancy), and would even try to create an image of Taylor there with us, but it was a forced illusion. This time, I am guessing we're having a boy and I can SEE this birth happening. But, that doesn't mean I'm fear-free. Every twinge has me nervous. My first appointment isn't until 10 weeks (June 1st) and it breaks my heart to remember how Taylor's heart was beating so strongly at that stage, as I had that initial early ultrasound done. So seeing it this time around isn't going to lessen any fears I have. I'm nervous, almost like I shouldn't be but can't quite kick it anyway.
I should be due sometime around December 28th, though give it +/- a week!
Only 32 weeks 5 days-ISH to go!!
|21 April 2012|