Sunday, October 14, 2012

Capture Your Grief - Day 14: Community

Day 14: Community

This was my first "event" honoring my angel babies.  It was the Utah Share Walk to Remember.  I met up with my friend, Kris, there.  I met her in a Facebook loss group, realized she lived in Utah, and so when I went near her town one day, she and I met up!  I was glad to be there with her.  She had her whole family there to support her and remember her baby boy, Luke.  I went alone.  My photo collage of this day will likely be repeated soon, but I'll change up the pictures to capture the day to coincide with the topic when it comes up again.

It was a really sweet event.  They talked about the organization's upcoming activities, then a beautiful poem was read, a song called "Beautiful" was sung, we walked around the park (walking the steps our babies will never take), then there was another song followed by each child's name being read and balloons being released as the name was read.  There was one family who had 9, yes NINE, losses.  I was surprised that, as Taylor & Seth's names were read, I didn't want to let go of my balloons for them.  It made me so sad to let them go, as if I were letting go of my babies again.  I forced myself to do it anyway and held back the tears that were so very near the surface.  Heck, even the piano music playing before the event started made me fight back tears!  They had several different items for sale, such as the two Christmas ornaments I bought.  I'm shocked I didn't take a picture of the adorable front - a foot print with 2012 below it.  Then they personalized them as desired, so of course I added their names and dates.  I'm hoping to make a "baby's first missed Christmas" ornament for each of them this year, too.  I'm glad I went and I hope to be able to make it next year.

I'm also hoping to take part in the "Running With Angels" event next year.  My dear friend, Ashley, ran remembering Taylor earlier this year, as I was pregnant with Seth. 

I know some people think it's weird that I don't just "get over it" but keep doing things to remember and honor my babies.  But, I'm their mommy and I don't want them to ever be forgotten.  They're my babies and I won't ever stop loving them.

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