So, I kinda got busy and forgot last week. SORRY!
Keith has been home all last week and will be most of this week. A kid at school got the chickenpox, and since Keith was never vaccinated for it, the school has asked that he stay home until the contagious period has passed. So, I get extra Keith time, but that also means I'm busier and forget about things like blogging.
Also, I was a guest blogger yesterday!! RobbyGurl's Creations featured my tutorial on a frame I have hanging in Kiersten's room for her flower clips. Check it out!!
On Friday, someone called me. I don't know if I'm allowed to say whom, because I don't know if they're sharing their news with everyone or just those they're closest to. No facebook announcements yet, so I'll leave the name out. Anyway, in case you haven't guessed, they're pregnant. And I am amazingly happy for them!! However, as I hung up the phone, I cried. I really am so very happy for them. I just also happen to be very sad for me. We both have little girls right now, and they're 2 months apart. If we were still BOTH pregnant, our babies would be 2 months apart again. We'd both have babies 18 months younger than our little girls. As I was told of their happy 11 week ultrasound, all I could think of is that I had an ultrasound just a few days before 10 weeks and it was such a happy ultrasound... but the next one wasn't so happy. Oh, I pray they don't suffer the same fate. I now better understand that hitting your second trimester does NOT ensure that you won't suffer a miscarriage, that all will be well after that.
I had thought that I was doing remarkably well, but this announcement still hurts me. I cried a LOT over it. No, not over the announcement and their joy... but rather at my own loss. When I say "I cried," I don't mean I had a couple tears roll down my cheeks. I mean wet, slobbery, snotty, please-don't-walk-in-on-me crying. The kind that requires a lot of tissues and leaves a few big wet spots on your pillow or blanket. I had no idea that all that emotion was still in me. I really thought I was doing fine.
The point? I am learning more and more that bad days appear out of nowhere, and that a loss is a loss, no matter how early or late it was. Loss hurts. And healing takes a lot more time than I thought. I miss my Taylor. I'm also learning that someone's loss hurts more than just their immediate family. It effects friends and grandparents and so many others, too. It's not just moms that hurt. Oh dear Taylor, you are STILL so very loved, even though we never got to meet you.
In other news, anyone want to drive to Missouri with me in late April? I am hoping to take my mom to the Kansas City Temple's open house and perhaps the dedication in early May. Wanna ride with me? 3 kids and one adult on a 17 hour drive is NOT sounding happy. I need help!!